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Car Door Dick Smash

by Car Door Dick Smash

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1.
2.
The party begins The clown walks in Shitty arts and crafts Nobody laughs I swear to God If he tells another joke I'll beat him with a rod I'll make him croak I grab that fucker by the throat So sick and tired of his clown rote Punch him in the gut with a knife I can't wait to end his shit life He tried to fight but I was too quick Knocked his wind out through a dick kick Sliced his gut right the fuck open Eyes go white his body's broken His entrails spill into the kiddie pool His eyes roll back as he drools Body cold and barely breathing Lying there, destroyed and bleeding Kids are screaming, party's cancelled Hacked into pieces, clown dismantled Fuck him he was a fucking asshole In Hell I'll devestate his soul
3.
Fucking move / Get some air Don't just sit / Sit and stare Eating Lay's / Eyes glazed Don't eat that / You're getting fat Mouth breather / Cough and hack Aneurysm / Heart attack Diabetes / Apnea Cancer / Insomnia Sitting around watching the time go by Crushed by your weight your innards die Watching TV and eating SHIT Suicide is illegal, can't you take a hint? You claim you're disabled, you spew the facts But your medical bills are paid with my tax So get off your ass, and eat something that's real I'll murder your kid if he eats a happy meal On a diet / So you say Frozen veggies / There's a way! Eating greens / Won't make up For that soda / in your cup For your life / Is a lie You eat shit / YOU WILL DIE And no one will / Give a fuck Only by Death / will you shut up!
4.
Driving drunk down the road crashing into shit Pull over to puke by the White Castle exit Close the door we don’t wanna hear you barf Stumble over, slam it shut and FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I look down and my pants are undone But where my dick should be is a gushing bloody stump now SEVERED DICK TWITCHING ON THE GROUND Fear takes hold and my face turns white Take a step back and slip on my penis blood BLEEDING OUT CLING TO LIFE CAR DOOR DICK SMASH NONE CAN SAVE YOU CAR DOOR DICK SMASH YOU ARE REAL FUCKED NOW Car castration CAR DOOR DICK SMASH CAR DOOR No more Masturbation CAR DOOR DICK SMASH CAR DOOR DICK SMASH
5.
(Puke sounds)
6.
Party at the scum pit Thrash, bang your fuckin' head (UNTIL ITS SORE) Puke all over your shit Drink beers till you are dead (AND DRINK SOME MORE) Party at the scum pit In a festering sewer Down where evil is born Fully drenched in manure We create blood and gore Intoxication is welcome 40s raised, bongs are hit Thrash will murder your eardrums Party at the scum pit Blacked out, you're one of the scum There's blood on your face, you're broken and numb Some guy might be dead, got stabbed by a bum You don't give a shit (PUKE IN THE PIT) Party at the scum pit
7.
Out with friends talking about our health and fitness Bill suggests something that he heard from the Mrs. Colon cleanse will rid your body of its toxins That sounds nice but I want this to rock my socks off First I take the toilet plunger - Get the paper Fasten paper to the bottom – This should be fine Dip it into Frank’s red hot sauce – Lots of flavor Suction it to the floor tile – Now its ready I take a squat First I take the toilet plunger - Get the paper Fasten paper to the bottom – This should be fine Dip it into Frank’s red hot sauce – Lots of flavor Suction it to the floor tile – Now its ready I take a squat THE SANDPAPER COLON CLEANSE With just one sweep Anal tract bleeds I grit my teeth All my guts slide on the floor I’ve minced my meat Too late for me Brief sexual glee and then I will be no more
8.
DBAD(BAD) 00:27
Don't be a dick, be a dude (x some number) Be a dude don't be a fucking dick
9.
Eaten Alive 01:37
Descend Into the muddy tomb where They Walk After death, craving flesh to Find the Final piece of this quest To lay them Back to eternal rest Quickly Now they know that we are here Defend our Lives against their blades with shields Voices Screaming around me My friends are Eaten Alive Torn to Pieces by the evil dead Viscera Strewn about across the crypt I watch In fear as they have found me As they claw At my body Cold dead Hand grips my wrist Its knife stabs Ruptured in a bloody mess of My stomach They stuff my guts into their mouths As I watch Choking vomiting Bleeding dying
10.
Insurmountable stench A walk in the park Blood stains on a bench Murder in the dark Suns up in the East, people come to see Body parts strewn about, killed by the beast The hordes ask why, no one saw a thing, How could this be? The killer runs free Surfaced in the creek A bloated corpse afloat Flesh rendered weak Clawed at the throat The odor is unbearable, you double up in grief Puke your fuckin' guts out, yet you stare in disbelief Monster on the loose, the killer runs free On the news: Discovery of the body
11.
I open the door Where the old farts wait to die As I begin my ritual of gore They gasp as I explore The others watch as I Tear up the decrepit flesh His butchering was no fight With scalpal, fork, and knife picking apart their brains bifocals smashed to dust he shit his Depends as I Tore up his shitty guts They scream, I claw apart their decrepit skin Blood spilt, bones snapped I'll eat them from within Gorging, I feast Can't sate my appetite Feeding the beast Old shits will DIE TONIGHT!!
12.
Your music sucks and you look gay Gym shorts Anti-sports Colored tats backwards hats Ironed hair You're a square You took the bait and Your music sounds like shit Major scales Painted nails Girlie jeans High school scenes You jump around like a fuckin' clown Cassettes on the shelf You should go kill your self
13.
FILTH ROT PLAGUE DEATH FILTH living scum ROT infected ones PLAGUE of this earth DEATH your only worth BLEAAAAAAAUUUUUGGHHHHH putrid sacks of shit molding, growing tall heaps of human cancer spreading, infesting all UGH every worthless human being attached to screens, no more feeling social skills vestigial if it's not hashtagged is it real regurgitated viral vomit original thought forever gone its brain repurposed to consume battery dies and so do you HUMAN GARBAGE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH All bown down to King Zuckerburg Join the rest of the human herd Piece of human garbage you should commit suicide piece of human garbage film it with your iphone 5 one with the mass landfill no significance, too late meaningless existence someone else will take your place DIE
14.
D.O.G. 01:24
(Growls)
15.
Slide behind the wheel two bowls of chili, down Cruising on the freeway I gotta push brown No rest stops are near Can't escape this Hell Clench my ass in fear This will not end well Warning farts are fired escaping from my anus Beginning of the end Unbelievably heinous Eyes begin to water vision starts to falter Oh fuck my window is broken I black out from the stench Something evil came from my ass my eyes water from this Hell gas Smelled so bad I wrecked my car into oncoming traffic!
16.
fucked by a shark hanging at the beach with some babes cooler's running out of beer stumble down into the waves you are too drunk to fear it approaches you attracted by your spew its turned on eyes are filled with lust its about to bust in your bum OHHHHHH GODDDDD fucked by a shark a sexual attack fucked by a shark there is no coming back fucked by a shark swim for the surface but your stuck fucked by a shark raped and drowned youre out of luck fucked by a shark!!! resting on the cold ocean floor defiled mangled and dead the babes will cry in the morgue your obituary now says: fucked by a shark a sexual attack fucked by a shark there is no coming back fucked by a shark swim for the surface but your stuck fucked by a shark death by an aquafuck
17.
Late at night after the show Drunk as shit and feeling slow Need to eat before I go to bed Cause if I don't, I'll wake up dead Open my fridge to get some food Just a few beers and some hot dogs Labeled "Expired Yesterday" I don't give a shit what they say BORN UNDER THE SIGN OF THE MUSTARDGRAM! Hot dog grind, to unwind Ketchup please, on your knees. Microwave, to the head, Hot dog grind, now you're dead Hot dog grind, to unwind Ketchup please, on your knees. Microwave, to the head, Hot dog grind, now I'm dead The hot dogs exit, from the 'wave From my stomach, to the grave Surely these hot dogs will be The last meal that I'll ever eat Colors explode from my eyes Organs shut down as blood dries I no longer need this shell, I am the Earth, and this is Hell

credits

released September 1, 2014

Keegan Hrybyk
Aaron Doenges
Matt Brandt

We would like to thank -
Budweiser
Hugs Juice Barrels
Frozen Pizzas
Maggie
Max Campbell
Rob Bauer

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Car Door Dick Smash Lafayette, Indiana

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