Fully Torqued, by Car Door Dick Smash

Fully Torqued

by Car Door Dick Smash

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Get all 4 Car Door Dick Smash releases available on Bandcamp and save 30%.

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1.	40 Oz 01:57	lyrics
When you need inebriated One method is underrated Hardly needs refridgerated It gets you obliterated Grab a bottle of malt liquor Or grab two and drink em quicker Double fist and here's the kicker Five dollars can't get you sicker Drink em down, smash em up DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND Drink em down, smash em up FINISH YOUR FORTY MAN Forty fuckin ounces liquor bounces off your brain slam a colt 45 like lando and then finish an old english and oh shit this is kind of insane forty fuckin ounces cobra pounces and it strikes if youve got forties grab em and you know we'll have a magnum and nobody will remember the night When you're really strapped for cash Other cheap booze is just trash 40s are the drink to thrash Official beverage of Dick Smash By the second you won't taste That you're drinking toxic waste Bottom's rough finish with haste Puke it all up in a paste GET DRUNK OR DIE
2.	Christopher Columbus Was A Dick 01:52	lyrics
Sail the ocean blue, land on foreign rock Forcing kids to suck his cock Promising jobs, and other rewards Instead he slays them all, puts them to the fuckin sword Survivors were enslaved as whores Forced to fuck the dudes on the santa maria Others were dismembered just for fun Rape - kill - rape, then back on the run All of his life makes me fuckin' sick Christopher Columbus was a motherfuckin' dick We're happy that he's dead, cause he was such a prick Christopher Columbus was a total fuckin' dick Christopher Columbus was a total fucking piece of shit Sailed on home, slaves in tow Treated them as live cargo Raping all the kids, claimed himself a lord Tossed their bodies overboard Fear underdeck, the natives in chains His sick desires, he ate their brains Another voyage of raping, as he willed Consuming the flesh, of those he'd killed
3.	2 Heads 4 Boobs 02:46	lyrics
Im looking for new holes to explore Can’t shake these thoughts out of my head Threesomes and dwarves and still i crave more Check it all off before im dead The thrill of the hunt for the ultimate cunt That gets me out my bed Hop on Craig’s List to see what i missed In this fucked up life that I've led 2 Heads! 4 Boobs! The perfect dame with two separate brains Both concentrate on my dick Two extra holes, this chick is gold I promise you this won't be quick Life fades to black from two perfect racks I am bursting with cum A tear in my eye as i finally die Ejaculate and I am done 2 Heads! 4 Boobs!
4.	Carnal Crock Pot 01:57	lyrics
Peas, carrots, stock Arranged in my crock Garlic, pepper, squash Stir and a slosh One final piece To this fuckin' feast Your charred flesh, Sliced and fresh! Cabbage, radish, eyes Mash and dice Fingers and potatoes Toss in some toes Pluck all the hairs, Drain the skull of fluids Turn on the heat, Almost time to eat I let your body stew, While I chop the veggies About an hour then The flesh falls from the frame The bones are collected, Recycled to make stock Entrails used for casing, "Sausage au Cock" Brains boiled down Thickened with fat A noxious carnal roux Simmer in the vat Paired with roasted ass, "Brain Matter Fondue" Blood stopped in a glass, Saved for au jus My larder is empty I'll run to the store My human meat locker, Behind the barn door Drained, hooked, and salted Primed for preservation Select a choice cut, Time for preperation Baked in blood Open flame spit Carmelized cock Sauteed in shit Broiling brains and boiling eyes Kidneys and spleens Baked into pies Organs removed, Torso stuffed with herbs Stiff disturbed
5.	Dog Coffin 01:45	info
6.	Bike Chain Dick Ripper 00:31	lyrics
Intoxicate Removal of clothes On your bike Fast as you go Crash into trash Your body is thrown Pavement on your naked flesh: peeled like a cheese grater The pain is nothing to your dick, caught in the derailleur Sausage rolled through the cassette - penis perforated! With your final breath you puke from all the booze Your shaft was torn from your body by a crankshaft now you're fucked.
7.	Belt Sander To The Face 01:15	lyrics
Screaming, hissing, whirring, Hot air licking your face Shrieking, spitting, stirring, 80 grit to put you in your place Blood, blood everywhere As I increase the speed Until there's nothing there I'll need you to bleed Sand grips your flesh as it peels rips and tears Pulling your face into a bloody mess Now you're unknown I've sanded your face smooth and bare Choking on bone From the osteal dust in the air Damage has been dealt No flesh left above your neck Time to change the belt And sand the rest of your flesh! You were human Now you're pulp, rind, and shit Grinding muscle Sinews shoot out from under my belt!
8.	Lunch Room Fire 02:13	lyrics
Screaming kids Flinging food A nightmare This lunchroom was Poorly built with no windows Then It happened Pizza day Stove top breaks Here come the flames Grease ripped the flesh off the cook's face Turning, Spilling, Knocking over Gas leak Fire LUNCH ROOM FIRE!! Kids Scramble for the only door Many trampled on the floor Some you'll never see no more Fires claim another score Smells of putrid flesh and cheese From fucking Pizza Tuesday, please Choke from smoke you cough and wheeze Fall now and die on your knees Body Parts are burning in the air Acrid stench of charring hair Melting children everywhere Fires take without a care Bodies fused by melting skin None of you will fucking win Molten greasy globs of goo Pizza and children are now fused LUNCH ROOM FIRE!!
9.	Pavement Shit Eater 00:08	lyrics
AAGGGHHHH!!
10.	Forced Drano Chug 02:06	lyrics
Time to Party Always time to fuckin' party Smoke this Eat that It will make you dance better Now you're In my Inner party circle hell To pay Me back I will take your only life Hit from the back over the head On the ground, out from my lead Just to be safe I tape your wrists Grab some dran-o and untwist Funnel jammed between your teeth Head tipped back so you may breathe Half a bottle clears your clog Monster of the party, blagh! Faint from lack of air, as your esophagus corrodes The acid clears a way, as your stomach implodes Eating through the stomach wall, your pancreas fails first Ulcers form as juices bleed, your condition gets worse Digestive tract is perforated, as I excitedly watch Gases inflate your innards as your skin begins to burst Cartilege has fallen prey to the ever flowing ooze As you come to it's much too late, the drano is through
11.	You Should Have Just Died In That Fire 01:58	lyrics
Wake To find that your trapped Inside with all fire and The smoke gasp and choke Pray That there's still time For help to arrive Before the flame consumes your flesh Temperatures soar Oxygen no more Scream In pain become One with the flame And as you begin to melt welcome hell Saved but is it too late the burning sealed your fate as a disfigured freak The loss of your face Too much to replace Gasp in horror / Mutant monster Look in the mirror and question should I be here Soulless creature / Without features Saving your life was a mistake You should have just died in that fire Your face, a crime to our eyes You should have just died in that fire You're gross so please fucking die Stare Take a look in the mirror No longer really here and so its time to take your life Nub Unfit to hold a gun Can't tie a goddamn rope such a joke There is no hope Trapped in a shell Too gross for hell Try Time after time But you just cannot die live forever as a ghoul Hide Retreat into a cave How'd it feel to be saved Twisted joke life is cruel But even worse is your face! You should have just died in that fire Your face, a crime to our eyes You should have just died in that fire You're gross so please fucking die
12.	Still Birth Cannon II 02:09	lyrics
Baby's ‘bout to BURRRRRRRRST Rushed to the hospital Strapped into machine Doctors crowd around you Staring at a screen That thing inside of you Is dead as fuck And this can only mean Stillbirth cannon A torpedo of pale blue flesh Stillbirth cannon Your dead baby the cause of your death Surgeons brace For your disgrace To fly from the womb into their face it starts to crown Everyone get down You blink and its too late Stillbirth cannon A torpedo of pale blue flesh Stillbirth cannon Your dead baby the cause of your death
13.	Email Storm 00:29	lyrics
I / STOP DON'T / STOP KNOW / STOP FUCKIN STOP I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing Don't ask me I am nothing I am nothing I am nothing
14.	Terrorists Are Dicks 01:13	lyrics
Why praise Your god Over the sun? Why kill Fellow man For fun? Killing to pass the time Filming your demands Committing horrid crimes, Masturbating on the sand No one gives a shit about What you have to say We just want you to stop Being fuckin' dicks Beheading reporters A pussy-bitch move Preying on the helpless Because you're fucking spineless Your life's a total waste Of gunpowder and lead I think we'll just kick you In the motherfucking head No one gives a shit Terrorists are dicks! Fuck you!
15.	SCUM SHARK! 01:23	lyrics
Off a coast flanked by factories Swimming slow, and haphazardly A tank with fins and in bad health A shark who's lost all his stealth Transformed by toxic waste Following his tail, a noxious trace Eating fish laced with plastic Active neurons growing static SCUM SHARK! SCUM SHARK! It doesn't help that on top of this He ingests lethal amounts of cannabis Booze and coke, heroin and 'shrooms Inhaling unnatural pollutant fumes LSD and PCP Amphetamines and PVC Swim his way you'll be outta luck He'll eat you cause he's wicked fucked SCUM SHARK! SCUM SHARK!
16.	Space Sequence 5 00:42	info
17.	AIDS From Space 02:33	lyrics
AIDS FROM SPACE AIDS FROM SPACE AIDS FROM SPACE AIDS FROM SPACE AIDS FROM FUCKING SPACE Truckin through space and don't give a fuck Asteroid truck stop down on your luck Alien hookers runnin' amok What could go wrong, shit, who wants to fuck? This one's a babe, but she's covered in goo This one's got tits, but they're weird and they're blue Pay em all spacebucks, strip to the nude Alien orgy eight ladies one dude Afterwards I start to fear My dick kinda feels weird Doctor takes a look and says I have AIDS But you don't have long, he says, you've just got days An asteroid truck stop just isn't the place To fuck around, and now I'm dying of AIDS from space YOU HAVE AIDS FROM SPACE
18.	The Abortion Clinic 04:17	lyrics
First you fucked up By getting fucked And now you're super fucked Cause you're having a kid But there's a way out of it If you've got the coin Just take your ass on down to the clinic And let em scrape at your loin! SCRAPE N SUCK! CURETTAGE! And now you're in the chair Legs in the stirrups Get ready for some fucking action It's time for menstrual extraction! The surgeon starts with vacuum and spoon Dilation and curettage Prostaglandins and the mucus squirts Afterwards you may feel some discomfort SCRAPE N SUCK! NOW YOU'RE DONE! We take the fetuses that you don't want Ripped from your cunt, and then tossed in the dump Cut the cord, end it now, skin is torn As we harvest the unborn
19.	Death In The Pit (The Legend of The Chicagogre) 05:13	lyrics
Deep in his den, amping up for the show Drinking heavily, doing some blow His eyes glazed with red lines streaking his sclera Moshing his heart out to Pantera 8 o'clock sharp, already in line Perspiring foul, odorous brine Ready for battle, he'll face death in the pit Tonight he may die, but he don't give a shit! What's he never given? -A GODDAMN SHIT! Reason for living? -DEATH IN THE PIT! Chicagogre rises up from the crowd, Surfs to the front, then crashes to the ground After the show, to the night he is bound To wander the streets 'til the next gig is found Second song of the first band of the night, He rips off his shirt, fuckin' ready to fight Should your paths meet you will surely die Turn and run cause he is too drunk to try His stench marks his presence, you don't need more proof As he points at himself, then points to the roof With a drunken roar, he commands that we lift To the front of the stage, he is offered as a gift What's he never given? -A GODDAMN SHIT! Reason for living? -DEATH IN THE PIT! Here is the site, where he must fight On this dark and evil, full-mooned night People running and screaming for the door Chicagogre battle lives forevermore! Surfed to the front, he roars for more thrust, Should he fall on you, you'll be crushed beyond dust, Reaches the railing, aghast are the security, Screaming for backup, they must catch this monstrosity! End over end he falls to the floor Crushing a guard to death as he shouts "ONCE MORE!" Back in the pit so he may die in battle Banging his head, his mind's fucking addled! What's he never given? -A GODDAMN SHIT! Reason for living? -DEATH IN THE PIT! The Chicagogre rises up from the crowd, Surfs to the front, then crashes to the ground After the show, to the night he is bound To wander the streets 'til the next gig is found
20.	The Smashing of Dicks 01:46	info